Unterrichten, Ich? Whaaat.

Ja,ja, ich und das Bloggen...wir pflegen eher auf Tumblr regelmäßigen Kontakt :D Aber ich habe Blogspot vermisst :)
Life update in a nutshell:
-Studium für Lehramt WHR begonnen (Hauptfach Englisch, Nebenfächer Deutsch & Ethik)
-erstes Semester rum
-jetzt mittendrin im ersten Praktikum an einer Realschule(OEP-Orientierungs- & Einführungspraktikum)

Erste Woche Praktikum rum-one more to go! Jetzt heißt es: Unterricht vorbereiten (oh lordy).

Ich werde in Deutsch und Englisch je eine Unterrichtsstunde halten, da Englisch mein Hauptfach ist und ich in Ethik nur bei den 10ern mit drin bin und die trau ich mir dann doch noch nicht zu, ist 'ne recht wuselige Klasse. No no.

Beide werden wahrscheinlich in Klassenstufe 6 sein-ach da sind sie noch süß!:D Am Montag war ich auch in einer 5. Klasse, ich sag's euch, die will man knuddeln haha. Die Kinder sind gerade dabei eine Lektüre zu lesen und es ergab sich, dass es sich in der Stelle die sie am Montag gelesen haben um ein Mädchen geht, die ihrem Vater zum Geburtstag einen Goldfisch schenken möchte. BAM-wollen alle ihre Fisch-Stories erzählen!:D "Frau G., mein Onkel hatte auch mal ein Aquarium!" - "Mein Bruder auch!" - "Meine Oma hatte mal so..hmm..also kein Aquarium aber wie so 'nen kleinen See im Garten, da waren 150 Fische drin aber dann kamen immer Katzen und haben die Fische rausgeholt, da waren am Ende nur noch 3 drin!" Die arme Lehrerin hatte echt Mühe die Kleinen wieder auf das eigentliche Thema zu bringen, Mensch, waren die putzig. Sogar nachdem es schon zur Pause geklingelt hatte und ich mit der Lehrerin das Zimmer verlassen habe kam uns schnell ein Mädchen hinterher um der Lehrerin zu berichten, dass sie daheim auch mal ein Aquarium hatten, aber jetzt nicht mehr. Je jünger die Kinder, desto mehr haben sie halt zu erzählen :) Love that.

Themen für meine ersten Unterrichtsversuche:
Englisch: entweder "Animals & Songs" (spielerische Arbeit mit Worten) oder "A weekend trip to Wales"
Deutsch: Fabeln

Bin echt mega zufrieden damit, klingt nämlich auf jeden Fall nach etwas, mit dem man gut und spielerisch arbeiten kann, sodass die Kids sich dafür interessieren würden :) Bin gespannt und hoffe, dass ich die Kinder begeistern kann und v.a., dass ich die Zeit gut einplanen kann, das ist nämlich so 'ne Sache mit der Zeit.

idk

now that my internship in a school started i’m even more confused about my future.

on one hand there is much about the job of a teacher that i like, e.g. that you’re working with people/children and are able to help them in many ways (if you’re willing to), it’s not a boring job, you’re getting something back from the kids, you’re not wrecking your body to its bones nor are you just sitting in front of a screen/on the telephone the whole time.
but the downsides are that you’ll never know if there will be problematic situations (behaviour, problems between pupils or within their families etc), you don’t just go home after your last lesson and get on your sofa and chill because you’ve got to prepare stuff for the lessons etc etc etc, then also, as a teacher i’m afraid i won’t be able to stay to my opinions or represent them because as a teacher i guess one has to be pretty neutral. also (maybe a little silly problem but it is one in my opinion) the point about clothing/styling; i like dressing dark, grungy or unusual/edgy styles and i like wearing stuff like that and i wouldn’t like to dress “boring” or let’s say teacher-style, i just wouldn’t feel comfortable nor would i feel like myself.


idk idk idk

conclusion

what makes me really proud of myself, is that deep down i've become a quite positive person.



sunrise at home, oh.

“Only the very naive are capable of thinking that the nature of man can be transformed into a purely logical one…”
— Human, All Too Human Part I by Nietzsche

€€€ edit

recently, i'm totally up to saving money because my finances aren't good enough for my taste. although i'm having huge urges to buy certain stuff atm, i'm staying strong. like today, my boyfriend, his mum and i went to some bigger stores where i found some nice stuff i'd like to have but not extremely necessary. so i just let them there. also i'm working at a grocery store for 450€ a month, but thinking about some other ways of making money, for example i'm quite good at baking, so i had this idea about offering my skills as a hobbybaker to people who'd like to have some 'customized' cakes, cupcakes and so on-they'll be cheaper than the ones one can order from bakeries but will still get me some extra money. also i'm going to apply for a holiday job or something similar at a company at which i worked last year for 4 weeks which got me really nice money. some of my friends asked me if my 450€ wage isn't sufficient enough for me. actually, it is enough. but why should i be content with that, when i can have more?

oh and also i'm selling some clothes at a site called kleiderkreisel, have a look at my catalogue and my profile, i have a list of other stuff than clothes (for example a Samsung Galaxy Ace) which i'm selling! have a look here

thanks, fuck you too a.k.a. the effort

my heart overflows with feelings

my head with thoughts

my soul with desire

my mind with with sadness

and i wish i was gifted

to make people understand

about this flood

but so i drown







it’s killing a part of my heart how some of those i call my closest friends let distance become the reason of a lack of contact
i tried, you never mind
and a part of my heart died

time

and time goes by, and with it people do so, and you stay still
they run around you, towards you, or away from you
while you don't ever realize
that you're running on your own very way


Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko - “Stay” (Full Version... von wonderful-life1989

always

and at the end i always know, i'll always love life.

keep that in mind

"Be happy for no reason, like a child. If you are happy for a reason, you’re in trouble, because that reason can be taken from you."
-Deepak Chopra

am i tired?

do you know this feeling, when you're not sad and not really sick of life, but just not motivated or interested in doing anything? like, i don't even really feel like blogging. wow, that's what she said. and i don't want to do anything around the house or go to the gym. but at the same time i don't want to waste time. the only things that seem to be practicable are internet surfing, watching movies, reading and eating a bunch of (junk) food. sloth-mode activated.

oh happy new year by the way guys. i don't want to be rude haha.

talking about past and present and people

have to admit that i am very very happy that i am, who i am now. i've changed so much over the past 3 years. i've learnt, accepted and put into practice. and whenever i think about the old me, i just wanna punch myself in the face haha. i'v been such an idiot. but i had to be an idiot to become who i am now. i do believe, that everything, no matter what, happens for a reason. everything has a purpose. if you pay attention to this, you'll recognize that it really is this way, may it be even be the smallest things. also i'd never ever change myself again to be liked my someone. never. why should i, i am the only version of me and i won't change it for any other version of a thinking and feeling being that's just too different from me to like me for who i am.

my money's gone and i still have nothing

ugh, it's always the same. i've spent a bunch of money for a few presents. but at least i got something for my boyfriend. i first planned something else than what i got him now, but it's getting a bit late to run for chirstmas errands. my first idea couldn't be put into practice just by myself and "the other party" from which i waited for "their contribution" wasn't showing any process, so i had to change my plans. it'll hopefully be good at the end. i obviously can't tell you what it is, that may be a bit dangerous haha. but anyways he's worth the money i've spent for that. he's more worth than all money there is. oh me is getting cheesy hah.

also i finally got some new sports chlothing at H&M. 3 pieces and 50€ gone, geeeeeeez.
also i don't think that i'll order much from H&M online any more. the clothes hardly look as good in real life as they do online. ordered 2 dresses, one looked like a potato sack and the other one looked like there were cycling shorts inwrought underneath and also a pullover which was already kinda baggy at the sides. meh, sorry for the moaning, but maybe i'm not the only one which has any experience of this kind or maybe i can rescue you from any mispurchases haha.

and then you smiled

i love you beyond all boundaries which ever have been there, even for love. you’re the missing piece of my soul and far more. you’re more i’ve ever searched and hoped for. there is no greater love.

clique

i'm listening to this track of jay-z, big sean and kanye west right now. mostly i'm into indie kinda music, but if a tracks nice why shouldn't i listen to it, just because it's another genre?

well. do you know this feeling, this urgent need of changing yourself? it came out of nowhere to me. just now. and this time it's mostly about my style. most of the time i dress pretty casual. but also, i often look at some pieces of clothes and think "wow they look so nice, but they're much too bold or too freaky for me to wear them". but now i feel like hey, i just have this one life and i told myself a long time ago, that i should live it as i wish and please. so, this must also be done with the clothing-thing. why should i care if anybody thinks that this or that piece doesn't look good on me? i decide whether it looks good on me or not, period.

just had to say this.

erster advent und disney day

ich habe lust auf deutsch zu schreiben. ich fühl mich grade irgendwie total wohl. es ist der erste advent und es schneit mal mehr mal weniger auf die sowieso schon betrachtliche schneedecke. hach, so muss die weihnachtszeit sein. ich liebe die weihnachtszeit. meine deko ist auch gar nicht mal so schlecht geworden. und gestern habe ich die lichter in der stadt betrachten können. die lichter sind so wunderschön. sie gefallen mir am ganzen fest wohl am besten. abgesehen vom schenken an die liebsten. aber wirklich nur an die liebsten. ich verschwende keine zeit mehr an gedanken über passende und schöne geschenke für leute, die sich dann eh nicht drüber freuen. naja wie auch immer. auf pro7 ist disney day und gerade hat alice im wunderland angefangen, die neue version von tim burton-absolute liebe für alle tim burton werke. und dieser film ist einer meiner lieblinge von ihm. das heißt erster advent, schnee, plätzchen, lauter gute filme, überall lichter, diese magische ich-fühl.mich-so-kuschelig-wohl-daheim-atmosphäre, ne neue leckere teesorte (schneezauber kirsch marzipan von meßmer, kann ich nur empfehlen!), plätzchen, und wenn doch mal n film läuft den ich nicht so mag, harry potter and the goblet of fire. perfekt. wäre mein freund noch hier, wäre es natürlich noch perfekter. aber damit komm ich klar, am dienstag/donnerstag sehen wir uns ja wieder. ich bin zwar ein bisschen erkältet, heut morgen gings los, aber trotzdem geht's mir grad echt gut. fühl mich richtig wohlig.

achja die blutspende lief echt gut. war ein schönes gefühl. ungewohnt, aber gut, vor allem hinterher freut man sich, dass man es gemacht hat. joa, so die kurzfassung, mehr kann ich eigentlich auch nicht wirklich sagen.

und endlich habe ich es geschafft, einen richtigen plan für meine geburtstagsfeier aufzustellen. die letzten zwei jahre wollte ich schon feiern, es hat sich aber immer alles im sand verlaufen. diesmal nicht. veranstaltung auf facebook erstellt (dann ist es wenigstens mal zu etwas abgesehen vom kontakt-halten gut. manchmal nervt mich facebook total. die leute werden immer oberflächlicher und technischer. meh, versteht einer was ich meine?). ist zwar keine große feier, aber wozu sollte ich unmengen von leuten einladen, die mir eh nicht nahe stehen? daher. und paar von ihnen haben auch schon sicher zugesagt, yay! ich freu mich echt wie ein kind haha. endlich diesen tag mal mit den leuten feiern, die mir wirklich viel bedeuten. also d.h. es wird reingefeiert.

weihnachtsgeschenke habe ich soweit fast alle. aber plätzchen habe ich noch gar keine gemacht. hab aber schon zwei rezepte rausgesucht, die ich unbedingt ausprobieren will. wenn das ergebnis zufriedenstellend ist, stelle ich sie vielelicht noch hier rein.
oh und ich freu mich so, mit meinem freund mich daheim zu verkriechen gerade während der weihnachtszeit, oder draußen bisschen auf dem weihnachtsmarkt und den beleuchteten straßen rumzuspazieren. herrje, ich springe total von thema zu thema, tut mir leid! ich fürchte, so sind meine gedanken strukturiert. ohne struktur. naja, solange ich noch durchblicke, ist das ok denk ich :D

this and that

i'm going to donate blood tomorrow. i'm really looking forward to this, even though i'm a bit afraid and nervous about how it will feel. but since i watched a report about people whose lifes depends on such donations, i'll surely survive this 5-10 minutes of being uncomfortable. sometimes, little things, just like this report i've watched, can cause massive changes. that's what keeps me believing. that people can be inspired and enchanted to do things. good things. useful things. i won't portray myself as a hero or something, but still i'm a human and i think my brain works basically like every other one. so i kinda see this as an experience.

oh, and my cat was very cuddly yesterday. i was just sitting cross-legged on the couch and she came along like "i might take a seat in between"

in addition

-i’m looking forward to winter and christmas and snow so bad. probably because of the enchantingly atmosphere this time of the year always brings with it. i always like the holiday-atmosphere more than the holiday itself. having a walk in the snow in the evening, visiting christmas fairs, drinking hot chocolate or hot wine punch, christmas songs playing along…

-i think that animals are far better than we are. they live much more peacfully with each other. don't argument with stuff like "but carnivores eat other animals" for example or other stuff. i think that's the way nature chose it to be. animals don't cause themselves problems like we do. best example: money.


also, i wanted to show you this cartoon. i already knew it as a quote when i found it, and i think it's very true.



i don't claim the rights for the pictures/cartoon-found it on tumblr.

it also made me think about my current situation. should you forgive people who hurt you over and over again and never really understood you or even tried to do so, just in order to be at peace with them and yourself? or is there a border, once it's crossed it should be enough? atm i stick more to my second thought. but it started to get exhausting. and somehow my words and actions are getting a bit more back to normal again. and i can't do anything about it. they just come up without me having control over them. and afterwards i'm like "why did i say that? why did i do that? why do i treat them so nice? they didn't think about how they treat me either. i don't need to put up with trying to take everything back to love, peace and harmony." but sometimes i just can't control it. i'm very confused.

thoughts

-i really do feel sorry for all the people who don’t read books. really. even worse if they say “i never read a book-they’re so lame”. so, so sorry. books are probably the most beautiful material thing. because somehow they aren’t material-they let you live other lifes, see other worlds and experience other things. seriously, there are books i’d read over and over again, just because they’re so amazingly beautiful

-isn’t it sad, that we live in a world in which so much space is wasted on commercials, work, capitalism, selfishness, prejudice and technology, that there’s so little space left for romantic? not romatic in the love kind of way, but in every way?

-it makes me sad and somehow angry and i don't understand why so many especially young people are so unhappy with everything. they're never content with themselves and the life they're living. if you're not happy with it, change it the best you can. and appreciate life. it's really not that bad. the thing is, that people always see the bad sides more than the good ones. it's like bad times and good times are on a scale, and the side of the bad times always weights more just because we value them wrong.

-i'm torn between wanting a job in the future that will be fun and enjoyable for me and will get me enough money, or just a job that i'll enjoy. to find the second kind will surely be easier. but i want to make my future family a good life possible. good in ways of a safe home, always enough to eat, warmth, security, etc. but isn't a "normal paid job" enough for this? i really can't estimate such things. but i surely don't want to have a run-of-the-mine well paid job that i can't enjoy and love like some money-grubbing kind of persons with no intention to do something in order to just do it, but just in order to earn good money. i'm afraid i won't find the happy medium.

instruction for life

sometimes it's so hard and exhausting, choosing and trying to combine your needs with your values and the values of the ones of your nearest environment and their beings and feelings. and it's hard to see that youself have made a mistake. and it's hard if you didn't, but still have to change something in order to calm down others.
and it's even harder putting it into words.

fitness, health and diet

i decided to do a little post about my fitness/health-life and my diet.
in april this year i decided to change my eating behavior-once again, like i did it thousand times before. but this time i didn't start any silly kind of trend diet. i once tried the cabbage soup-diet and it worked a while, i lost about 8kg/17,8lbs but i gained them back so quickly (a few years after, i read that this kinda diet can make you lose some weight in little time but that's just why it'll come back easily). also i tried a ridiculous sausage-banana-eggs-diet idk what it was really called. you should eat about 5 sausages the first day (i think it were 5), then 5 bananas the second day and 5 eggs the third day and then it went on in some pattern like this - RUBBISH.

this time, i really don't know why, i guess the mature side of my brain must had cut in, i started to eat really clean. i didn't eat much junk food and fast food, not much pasta and white carbs. i went on with some raw food, fruits and veggies, but i'm more the fruit-type. also i switched from all kind of drinks to water. now i can only enjoy my food with water, because i think sweet drinks destroy the taste of the food.

also, one day i went down to our basement, don't remeber what i did there, but the old crosstrainer which stood there chaught my eye. so there i was, with my long sweatpants and a long sweater, running on the crosstrainer. it must had looked ridiculous! but ever since i randomly started running there, it became a habit. and also there were some results: i lost some weight! but also, i did feel so much better. i never believed or could believe people when they said that clean eating and sports change your sense of life, but it does! i feel so much more happy nowadays. if i felt 5 out of 10 days happy before starting my lifestyle-change, i feel 9 out of 10 days happy now! also it's such a huge pleasure and satisfaction, when you see what you achieved yourself, but i myself think that this is just a little contribution to the happiness you feel almost always.

also you'll get to a point when the changes you took at the start won't be enough anymore. in my case, it was about the workouts and "bad food". my running-sessions weren't enough anymore, so i looked for some workouts for my abs, arms, legs and butt (because that are the bodyparts i want to be more toned especially). i think that youtube is a great source for workout-inspirations if you don't want to spend lots of money for any silly workout-dvds (i myself don't believe that they work really, idk why) or don't want to go to the gym or don't have the time/money for that. it took me some time to find workouts that were practicable for me-some were too hard, some didn't make me feel like they worked my body. but once i found some, i sticked to them. now, i added some more to my old ones or changed the difficulty level by doing them longer, more repetitions or added weights. about the bad food: i finally cut out bad snacking. i had such problems avoiding sweets or when it was dinnertime and my family had for example pasta, i ate some of it too. resisting was just too hard for me. but now it became normal, i don't even crave for that bad stuff anymore. well sometimes yeah i DO, but a little sin once in a while is ok! i was used to eat at least one bad thing a day, but now it's maybe one in three days i guess. i made saturdays my "devour-day". i allow myself to eat everything i'd like to eat. like when i'd like to have pizza, i eat it. i once read that it's good to have such days to avoid food-cravings. at the beginning i ate a lot bad stuff on my devour-days, but now it got less, because i just don't want to eat stuff that's not good for my body anymore. and it's really true that if you avoid that stuff, you'll less crave it. i guess it's the same like with cigarettes, if you're used to smoke them you'll crave them, but ask a non-smoker if he feels like needing a cigarette, think he'll agree? no haha.

todays, when i eat some bad stuff or drink sugary frizzy drinks, i literally feel that it's not good. i feel so limp and ugh, nah, like a big big big snorlax/relaxo (for the german readers), remember him?



i lost about 11kg/24,2lbs, but i still want to lose some more and tone my body more. i'm very very happy with my achievements! i still can't really realize that i did this all by myself. and i would have never believed that i would stick to this way of life for so long (well, 7 months are quite a time for me). i think, eating clean and challenging your body is the only way to improve your body and health really and longlasting. also everyone can do it! it's just about you and your mind, if you want it, make it happen! only you can do it-no wizard will appear and turn your body into a sexy machine.

also, i created some nice meals and snacks, which are healthy and super for a proper diet. maybe i'll post some of them :)

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.”
-Buddha

i guess this is some kinda tic of me

whenever i see some people complain about a certain thing or having a certain problem with their lifes, i think it’s always theirselves to blame. because, when you are not happy with the way your are, it’s only you to change that. when you cause certain problems in life, it’s only you to solve them.

and yet i know, that you are influenced by your surroundings and that they maybe also contribute in you causing problems, i just can’t excuse such things. you can’t blame it on this or that. if there’s something wrong, you have to change it-you can’t wait for a solution falling from the skies. it’s just not ok. there will come a point in life when you won't be able to run away from what you did or who you are, so you either gotta stand for it or change it, that's your choice, but you can't expect everything to go alright by itself. it’s your life and your mind, so you have to control it. period.